Parlez vous français?
by cute-lil-nina
Summary: The Winchester boys get a call from Bobby telling them they should go check out a case in Quebec, Canada. First fanfic of Supernatural
1. Where are we going?

A/N: What happens when Sam and Dean have to go to Quebec, Canada to solve a very strange case. N.B: This story happens sometime during the 4th season, but there is no specific place it will go.

**DISCLAIMERS:** I don't own any of the Supernatural characters or anything like that.

Chapter 1

Where are we going?

Sam, sitting in the '67 Chevy Impala waiting for Dean to come back with some lunch, looks at his computer to see if the RCMP. folder finished downloading. "Hey Sam, guess what I found at the store!!!" Dean screamed holding up some pie and two sandwiches.

"Let me guess, pie?" Sam said getting annoyed. As Dean was getting into the car, Sam opened the download folder and got excited. "Dean, how good is your French?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, how good is it?"

"Not very good, all I know how to say is swear words in French. How about you?" Asked Dean

"I took some classes, but I'm not much better." Replied Sam

"What's that all about?" Asked Dean

"I downloaded a RCMP. folder and it says in here that over a course of 6 years, over 15 deaths occurred without any explanation."

"You know, it could just be that there's a serial killer on the loose who's really good at covering up his tracks."

"Also, the reason why I hacked into the RCMP mainframe and got this folder was because Bobby asked us to go check it out."

"When did Bobby call? And what does RCMP stand for anyways?" Asked Dean getting slightly annoyed.

"Bobby called last night, while you were out and RCMP stands for Royal Canadian Mounted Police."

"So Bobby expects us to go to Quebec, when he knows we both don't speak a word of French and solve this so-called murder?"

"In other words, yes. And it's not a serial-killer, because each victim was gutted and all their blood was drained out, yet there were no signs of forced entry or signs of a struggle in the house." Replied Sam

"You know who else gutted their victims? Jack the Ripper."

"This isn't Jack the Ripper, Bobby is the one who told me about this, shouldn't that be enough?"

"Fine."


	2. Are we lost?

A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews I've gotten from you guys!!!! By the way, there are some French lines now… so if you don't understand, just go to the bottom of the page, and you'll see [number] and the English translation to it.

**DISCLAIMERS:** I wish I owned Supernatural… but I don't

Chapter 2

Are we lost?

"Are we there yet?" Asked Dean in the passenger seat.

"No." Replied Sam

"Are we there yet?" Asked Dean again.

"No." Replied Sam getting slightly annoyed.

"Are we there YET?"

"NO! HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY IT?" Screamed Sam

"Wow… Bitchy today are we?" Said Dean

"Well… Jerky are we today too." Said Sam trying to control his temper

"I think we're lost, we should pull over."

"Yea, way to go to get us lost Sammy, oh wait, here's a sign. 'Bienvenue à Saint-Sauveur' "

"Okay, so we're on the right track, as far as I know, we're in Quebec." Said Sam reassuring himself.

"Where are we going again?" Asked Dean looking around to see if there were any leftovers from breakfast.

"We're supposed to go to a place called Lac-Saint-Charles." Replied Sam.

"What is it with these Quebecers and the word 'Saint'!"

" 'Saint' means Saint, you know like in the bible, a Saint, like Saint-Joseph, Saint-Mary.."

"I'm not stupid Sam, I know what Saint means."

"Right… So we're in Saint-Sauveur, but I have no idea how to get to Lac-Saint-Charles." Said Sam

"Why don't you go ask a local person. Look, I see a dude, go talk to him."

"Hey! Hi, do you know how to get to Lac-Saint-Charles." Asked Sam to two teenagers.

"Yo, Marc, as-tu entendus ce que ce mec vient de dire? [1]" Said one of the teenagers.

"Ouais, il a dit est-ce que tu sais où est Lac-Saint-Charles, je pensais que tu étais bon en anglais! [2]."

"Qu'est-ce que je devrais lui répondre en? Anglais ou Français pour lui faire chier? [3]"

"Juste répond en Anglais, il va mieux te comprendre. [4]"

"Euh, Hello, I do not speak… euh how do you say it… Ah yes, Eeenglish verrry vell, but Lac-Saint-Charles iz euh… North, ah yes, that iz how you Eeenglish peepel say it." Replied Marc

"What the hell is wrong with this person?" Said Dean.

"Dean, it's what you call French-Canadian people. Mercy baucoup"

"You are verry velcome. But you might vant to avoid going to zat place, it iz dangereux, euh, danejurus. But don't forget to continue north and follow ze signs." Added the other teenager

"Thank you again for the warning." Said Sam as he was rolling up the window.

"Well… French people are very annoying! And I'm really sure they were making fun of us." Said Dean frustrated.

"Oh come on, Dean. There is something called a language barrier, we don't speak French and we're in the backwaters of Quebec, not many people can speak adequate English, therefore they don't even try to speak."

"Anyways, the dude said to follow the signs… So that's what we should do."

"Dean, can you drive for a little while? I'm getting tired, do you want me to crash your baby?"

"Oh don't you dare!"  
"Then come on! Let's switch."

"Next gas station you see, we'll switch… And I'll get myself some more food."

_TRANSLATIONS TO THE FRENCH LINES_

[1]: Hey, Marc, did you hear what this guy just said?

[2]: Yea, He said do you know where Lac-Saint-Charles is, I thought you were good in English.

[3]: What should I reply in? English or French to annoy him?

[4]: Just reply to him in English, he'll understand you more

A/N: Eh… Not my best work… but at least we get to see French people… Please review!!!!! And yes... I am very able to speak French...


	3. What the hell is this?

A/N: Thanks for the few reviews I've gotten! By the way, I do live in Canada, and I do speak French quite fluently. In other words, I go to a private French school… which sucks for me, but you can't always get what you want. So to **Justme**: I am quite familiar with what poutines are! And I agree with you, that they're VERY good! Though they're not the most healthiest food that Quebecers have come up with, but it's still quite good. I advise that if anyone makes a trip to Quebec in the near future to try POUTINE!!!!!!!!

**DISCLAIMERS:** I hate doing this part, but yea… I don't own anything… WB does

Chapter 3

What the hell is this?

While Sam was filing up the gas tank, Dean decided to go to the diner across the street to see if there was any food.

"Sammy, I'm going to see if I can get myself some pie!" Screamed Dean.

"Right, you go do that." Replied Sam.

As Dean was crossing the street, a car was coming straight towards him. When the person in the car saw him, he slammed on the brakes and poked his head out if the window and screamed "toi-la! Qu'est-ce que tu fais? Esti de con! [1]"

"Whoa there, sorry, I didn't see you!" Screamed Dean back at the guy

"En plus t'es un maudit anglais! [2]"

"Mister, I really don't understand you. Uh, je ne te comprenned pie (pas)."

The driver muttered something in French, got back in the car and drove off. Dean looking a little confused decided to start heading towards the diner.

"So, what's the special today?" Asked Dean.

"Euh, ze special iz poutine." Replied the waitress

"What the hell is poutine?"

"It iz french fries wit cheese and grayvy on top of it, it iz very good."

"What is this, like a Quebec delicacy?"

"As a matter of fact, yes it iz."

"Fine, I'll take 2 of those pooteens and what is the special dessert?"

"It iz shugar tartes."

"WHAT no PIE???"

"No, not today, sorry."

"Damn it, fine, I'll have 2 pooteens and 2 sugar tarts." Said Dean getting a little angry that his favourite dessert wasn't available.

"Dean, what took you so long? I've been waiting for you?"

"I almost got run-over by a car, then I found out that these Quebecers don't have pie right now!"

"Okay, sorry, didn't know. What's for lunch?"

"Something called Pooteens, it's fries with gravy and ch-"

"Cheese, yea, I know what that is, it's the Quebec delicacy."

"Wow, you're a walking encyclopedia of food. What's this" Asked Dean pointing to the sugar tarts.  
"They're sugar tarts, also another Quebec specialty."

"That's amazing! Okay, I'll drive after I finish eating. Wow, this Pooteen is amazing! Why don't they make these in the US?" Asked Dean while stuffing is face.

"I don't know." Replied Sam getting a little annoyed

[1] You there, what are you doing? Stupid!

[2] In addition, you're a freaking American!

A/N: And yes, my best work is at 4 am! Sorry it took so long to update once again…


	4. Why does everyone assume we're gay?

A/N: Well… Hi, it's been a while. Sorry for the uber long wait. I was planning to write during the summer, but I obviously ended not writing. Hopefully people are not angry at me. I had a great summer and hope to be back to writing during my free time.

**DISCLAIMERS:** I obviously do not own Supernatural.

Chapter 4

Why does everyone assume we're gay?

"So, where's the motel we're staying at?" asked Dean while eyeing his next victim, another sugar tart.

"Somewhere called Rouge Poisson, we should be coming up to it right about now." replied Sam.

"Oh, I see it, why is it so dark down here? It's barely 3pm and it's already so dark."

"It's called trees, Dean. The trees cover the skyline, therefore it gets dark really easily." said Sam as he pulled into the motel's parking lot.

"Okay smart-ass, let's go see if Bobby got us a room, speaking of which, why hasn't he called us?"

"He's probably busy."

"Un lit pour deux ou chacun un lit?"[1] said a teenage boy.

"News avone day reeservationne ici (Nous avons des réservations ici) [2]." said Sam.

"Oh ouais? Icitte? Ah bon. Eh pôpa, on avais-tu des reservations icitte?[3]" screamed the boy.

"Demande-leurs noms et regarde sur le papier à côté du téléphone. [4]" screamed another voice.

"Euh, c'est quoi vos noms? [5]" asked the teenager.

"Sam et Dean Winchester." replied Sam.

"Ah ouais, ici, un lit chacun. Tiens, vos clés [6]."

"Merci baucoup."

In the room, Dean is checking out the channels on tv while Sam is looking at the map of the area.

"Why does everyone assume we're gay?" asked Dean while flipping through the few channels.

"No idea, don't bother me."

"Why is it that there is only 1 English Channel and every other channel is in French? I don't understand shit!"

"We're in Quebec, get use to it. Alright I found where we're supposed to go. If we go up the street, there should be the house where the murder took place."

"Are we leaving now that means?"

"Yes. Get changed, suit and tie and your badge."

"Dean, go knock on the door."

"Why does it have to be me? You're the one with the language skills."

"Fine." said Sam as he knocked on the door.

"Puis-je vous aider? [7]" Asked a teenage girl.

"DAMN she's hot!" Said Dean.

"Shut up! News sommes avec le RCMP, news aimerons regarrder law mason. (Nous sommes avec la RCMP, nous aimerons regarder la maison). [8]"

"Jcomprends pas, ils sont déjà venus, pourquoi vous venez encore. [9]"

"On n'a pas tous les informations, alors news sommes revenus.[10]" Replied Sam.

"D'accord." Said the girl.

[1] A bed for two or a bed for each person?

[2] We have reservations here.

[3] Oh really? Here? Alright. Dad, did we have reservations over here?

[4] Ask for their names and look at the paper next to the phone.

[5] What are your names?

[6] Oh yea, here. 2 beds. Here are your keys.

[7] May I help you?

[8] Shut up! We're with the RCMP and we'd like to look at your house.

[9] I don't understand, they [RCMP] already came, why would you like to look again.

[10] We didn't get all the information the first time, so we came back.

A/N: Not much, but it's a start. I added a lot more French in it and it was a pain in the butt to translate that again XD. Please review and tell me what you think. I read a book with more Quebec slang in it. Trying to add it in here, but it's kind of hard, since I don't actually speak like that. Enjoy~


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